HALLOWEEN

Well it’s been a while. A lot has happened, some good; some bad. One thing in particular was so scaring that I am unwilling to talk about it. What I will say is that I did not tune into match of the day. Halloween is traditionally a pagan festival celebrating being ungodly and symbolizing the start of winter. Well that’s what I took from my primary school RE lessons. For students it’s prime time to get drunk and to dress up like a twat. No change there then. This Halloween was no different except much better than any ever before. Not only did I go to a house party I also went to two night clubs. That’s right two. It’s extravagant yes but I don’t really believe in recycling and energy saving anyway so I suppose it was always something that might happen to me some day. One day I will probably buy a car like a hummer that does four miles to the gallon. I’m a Mugabe.

(Before I continue I apologise for the quality of my writing. I’m tired so I can’t really form coherent sentences or spell.)

I originally wanted to go to the party as a jelly baby. Then I decided that because I’m having such a disastrous sex life at the moment any slim chance of getting laid would be damaged by painting myself purple and wearing a nappy. So I settled on being a zombie like everyone else. At first this decision looked like being my greatest ever. I met two hot female zombies at the party and we chatted in great depth about how we became zombies. One claimed to of been hit by a train and become undead that way. Unfortunately in my drunken state I felt the need to explain that she couldn’t have been hit by a train; her injuries weren’t nearly severe enough. (She would have been splatted.) This was intended as a joke but it made me sound like some freaky gore expert who pickles dead things. Needless to say the drought continues. One big plus is that god is now on my side, as I befriended a zombie Jesus. Let’s hope Christ is a good wing man.

Drunkometer 6/10

Woozilla 4/10

Overall woozilla 8/10 PETE GOT LUCKY

Moistometer 5/10 it pissed it down at night!

NIGHT OUT RATING 9/10

Today I watched films and drank milkshakes with my good friends Lucy Pete and Potty Mouth. To be continued....