driving test, #1

Today was bad. It all started very positively, but then everything went from great to shit.

Just as a quick tit bit of information to make me feel good about myself. Remember the girl with the fat eyes from a few weeks ago? I actually acquired some balls and we had a bit of a pash. sweet huh? Who's the stalker now ay!? In fact without getting carried away, ladies seem easily wooed these days.

PERSONAL WOOZILLA FOR THE RECENT PAST : 8.5/10

Anyway lets not get carried away. Back to the bad. I FAILED my driving test

MOISTOMETER.......... 0/10 so fucking dry you wouldn't believe.

I started fucking brilliantly. The examiner, for a start, was actually Father Christmas, (I was expecting him to look like Hitler or Stalin.) I managed to steer safely away from the test center and so with Santa in toe, I set off round the town. At first I was a tad nervous but that soon passed as I completed what was without doubt, the greatest "reverse round a corner" of all time. The test continued, 20 minutes without a fuck up.

"Am I Jenson Button?" I thought to myself.
"No don't get carried away, your just a demi god."

It was around the time I was having this internal dialogue that Santa asked me to pull over so he could explain how brilliantly I was doing and I mounted the curb like it was the girl from Gray's Anatomy.

From then on everything went down hill..... badly.

I was angry with the curb, I was fucking angry with santa too, but mostly, I was pissed off with the car. How could it let me; a driving demi god, down like this? I mean it must be terribly manufactured to steer itself into curb so carelessly. ..... fucking Henry Ford

After that I cut a demoralized figure on the roads. I barley minded when the car excelorated itself and cut up the blue mini and I definatley didn't give a shit when the stupid car, mounted the curb a second and third time in the bay park outside the test center.

I am waiting for cancelations.

I WENT TO LEEDS that was sweet
9.7/10 moistness!

Moistest man of the moment

Dr DAMP who turned 21

I am currently watching the Soprano's through for the second time. God it's brilliant.
The plan now is to get fat, get racist, get a wife, kids, a mistress and start wacking people.

My house has already started a family up and were picking on the runt of the litter, Prince to get coffee, drive us around and dispose of the bodies.